scoab (1.4)
When I really started drawing, I decided that using a ruler was cheating. If you didn’t draw the line, then it wasn’t your line. So I learned how to make straight lines and while they weren’t perfectly straight, they were mine.
A year or so after I made that decision, I met a guy who only drew in ink. Now that was art. You were responsible for every line. No erasing. No undo. If it was a small mistake, you could work around it, or through it, or make something else and suddenly you were going that way anyway. If the mistake was bad enough, you could always start over. So I learned how to draw in ink and leave childish things like pencils and pink rubber erasers behind.
Flash forward 20 years, and suddenly I’m a huge cheater. Nothing in this drawing really exists. They’re just pixels of varying intensity, pushed into existence by a fake pen on fake paper. The tip of the drawing pen is even felt-like enough to give the right amount of resistance on the tablet. Fake.
The thing is, working this way is more like what I used to do than what I’ve been pushing out lately. I feel more involved in the act of drawing. I forgot that when I really get into the art, I’m in it. I don’t hear music. I don’t know the air conditioner gave up 20 minutes ago and my feet are sticking to my sandals. I’m building the picture in my head, with tools that my younger self wouldn’t have thought of.
He would still think I’m cheating.
But I’ll be ready for him when he comes back.